Thursday, September 15, 2011

9/15/11

Backward Guy
By Chris Wagner


Tom watched the man take another step backwards right with the flow of the line. The man was facing the wrong way looking at Tom, who stood behind him in line, but he moved easily with the crowd. This strange fellow had put his clothes on backwards, so Tom called him Backwards Guy. It wasn't the most creative nickname, but Backward Guy had Tom feeling quite awkward. He stared straight at Tim, well more like through him.

Tom looked left and right, to the sky, and at every pretty girl that walked by, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not escape Backward Guy's unblinking gaze or his wide toothless smile.
Backward Guy and Tom soon progressed their way to the front of the line and their turn on the roller coaster. Tom took his seat, and Backward Guy sat right next to him, backwards. This reversed the roles of the two men. Tom stared at Backwards Guy, who was sitting bent at his back and kneecap. This seized Tom's attention so much that he continued to gawk through the ride.

When the coaster's cars came to a stop, Backward Guy exited the ride, and Tom followed.
The two made their way through a crowd. Tim watched Backward Guy navigate his way through a sea of people to one of the amusement park's many bathrooms. Though he knew it was creepy, Tom couldn't help himself, and he pursued after the Backward Guy into the washroom. Afraid of being noticed, Tom kept his distance and just caught sight of the stall Backward Guy entered, but as luck would have it, he was able to occupy the next one to it.

Tom sat on the toilet and debated what he should do next. The thought was disgusting, but he had to know which way the Backward Guy was sitting while doing his business. Tom stood on the seat and stretched towards the next stall.

"Hello dear."

Tom quickly crouched down. Backward Guy was talking to someone.

"My trip was fine, love."

Tom rose again. He realized Backward Guy was on the phone.

"Yes, I remembered. I told you I would."

Tom peered over the stall wall to see the way Backward Guy sat, but he was standing with no visible phone, head set, or ear piece.

"I did do one pretty embarrassing thing though."

As Backward Guy continued to talk, he grabbed a piece of skin on the middle of his forehead and pulled down. The skin split and crumpled to both sides like a pile of clothes, and a little silver alien, who had on a head set and two antennas, stepped out from the skin. Tom just stared unable to speak or move.

"I put my human suit on backwards," the silver alien said.

He spun the pile of skin around, stepped in the middle of it, and zipped it back up.

"No, I don't think anyone noticed."

The Backward Guy walked out of the bathroom, forward with Tim staring his mouth agape.


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I am a regular guy with a pretty active imagination. Fortunately, Writing provides me with a vent for my thoughts.


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